Caught completely off guard by the result of the Superbowl, where the New York Giants defeated the New England Patriots, Giants’ officials were forced to find and open the boxes containing the “New York Giants Superbowl XXXV Champions” hats and t-shirts.

The Giants, virtually written off by the entire world against the 18-0 New England Patriots who had vanquished all before them in a previously unbeaten season, simply didn’t think it necessary to prepare the merchandise. “We just didn’t think there was any chance of us winning” said Giants director of marketing, Eugene Daarkshner. “I mean, come on. Eli vs Tom Brady? You gotta be shittin me!” exclaimed an exasperated Daarkshner, who has been desperately trying to have some Superbowl XLII t-shirts and caps sourced.

“Thankfully, we had kept all the gear that we had prepared back in 2001 when we thought we were totally gonna trounce those damn [Baltimore] Ravens” said Gary Halverchurch, Giants VP of Football. “[General manager] Jerry [Reese] had been cleaning out of the cupboards and found these boxes of old t-shirts and wanted to dump them but [Giants Part-Owner] John [Mara] said he liked to take them out every now and then and look ‘em, to remind him of the good days of Kerry Collins. Man, how lucky is that? I mean the boys looked a little silly, but most people couldn’t see the small writing so I think we’ll be okay.” The Giants erased a 7-3 halftime deficit to record their first Championship since 1987.  Buffalo Bills owner Ralph Wilson says he knows what the Giants went through. He has a container load of t-shirts, caps, mug warmers and Frisbees from failed Superbowl attempts in 1991, 1992, and 1993. The Bills also lost the Superbowl in 1994 and have not been back to the Championship game since.