I'm really sorry about the late timing of this, but I'm currently in the Land the Internets Forgot - Palmerston North. This piece is a Dropkicks exclusive on my experiences at the All Blacks media session last week. Click on Brad Thorn's beer belly to read it.

How do you outmuscle a room full of men who have made a career out of doing just that?

This was the question I was grappling with as I walked into the Wellington Room at the Intercontinental with a bunch of journalists; Duncan Johnston, Andrew Saville, Daniel McHardy, James McOnie, Jim Kayes and a bunch of others I was surprised I didn't recognise. I needed to come up with an answer quickly, as Joe Locke from the NZRU directed me to the table I'd be sitting at when the All Blacks entered the room. This was the stuff I, as a student journalist and rugby fanatic, have dreamt about [on an almost-regular basis]. I knew it wouldn't be easy to get amongst it - this fresh-faced kid in an Optimus Prime t-shirt sitting amongst a bunch of faces they knew can't have been a priority for the national rugby team.

 What little time I had to think evaporated quickly as Conrad Smith entered the room. He was thrown to the TV wolves first. Kayes and Saville asked him the usual 'do you look forward to playing at home' etc. Mils Muliana came in about a minute later and sat directly opposite me. I was amongst the radio journos - mainly because I hadn't gotten the memo about press being in a seperate room [I had thought it was odd, even as Joe was telling me where to sit, that I was on my own]. Mils began to speak about how good it was to have Smith and Jerome Kaino in the team, because they would add leadership the team was lacking last week [and a consistent theme seemed to be that Conrad is very, very vocal in the backline].

 Next, he spoke about the difference between the Super 14 and test rugby. He said S14 was a different style to what the French brought, and that he was surprised that when he left the field he wasn't as tired as during the S14. This was, according to the captain, because the rules played a big factor in that match. He said he wasn't shocked about the physicality the French brought, but that the All Blacks were decisively outmuscled. He assured us that the team had quickly recovered this week following that physical onslaught, but adjusting to the rules - with some of the S14 rules having been removed and a new rule at the breakdown - was taking the team a while to get used to.

 When questioned about the rush defence employed by the French - especially against Nonu and Toeava, part of the reason they were not as effective in this match as they have been previously - he shocked me by saying it definitely was not expected. The French had played a completely different defensive style during the Six Nations and even though the Chiefs, and occasionally the Hurricanes and Blues, utilise this rushing style, the All Blacks had not worked on trying to elude such a strategy if it were employed by the French. He emphasised that the wings and fullback could have been utilised to save on this in a fashion similar to that the Wallabies have been employing with the offensive kick, but he said the chasers, including himself, had not been hungry enough [this entire sentence is portrayed in my notes by Pac-Man]. With that, he thanked us and said goodbye.

 As he stood up Tanerau Latimer took his seat and immediately commented on how the intensity has been lifted at training this week. One of the Newstalk ZB journos asked him how it felt last week, when he played 20 minutes. He commented that it had gone past in a blur, but he 'loved it' and the haka. This satisfying the media's 'new kid with a lot of heart' soundbite category, they moved on to quizzing him about Kieran Read and Jerome Kaino, his loose forward partners. He expressed his supreme confidence that the relationship between the two would improve, then confirmed they will not switch positions during the game [fingers crossed for no injuries].

 Jimmy Cowan had been leaning against a far wall during this, with Cory Jane also hanging about, while Read was interviewed for TV. Jane and Cowan were supposed to be interviewed by our group, but confusion saw only Cowan come over. I was amazed by how quiet he was - I could hardly hear him and I was only on the other side of the table - but he said he was extremely disappointed with the game last week. In fact, he reminded me of the little kid who is upset after you've just yelled at him.

He was hardly making eye contact and he seemed quite sad, which completely went against what I've learnt about him throught the media - that Jimmy is this staunch, aggressive character, win or loss. When pushed on criticism of the backline's performance, he said that they, and the 9 and 10, are all linked and if one cannot get good ball, the others will collapse. Asked if this was a fault of the officiating at the ruck where the French were offside his response was remarkable. Instead of using this lifeline and peddling a media-friendly line about how it'd be a lot easier if referees were consistent he looked up and said 'We just didn't do our job. We've only got ourselves to blame.' It is unfortunate this response was followed with a stupid question, referencing Mils' comments about not being as tired. 'Do you think that's because the team didn't leave it all on the field?' asked someone I don't know. His response, with a look of 'wtf' on his face was that the team did. He said some individuals may not have, but that he definately had.

 I'd had enough after that and noticed Cory Jane sitting on his own. Seizing a chance to get some confidence and stop my shaking hands which were making it impossible to take any photos I walked over to him and had a small interview: [AUDIO]

He went to the radio guys and Kaino was with TV while I sat there glowing at my dream come true. Sure, I may not have had any questions planned beforehand, but thought I held my own pretty well [despite my percentage crime] and at the end of the day, I'd interviewed an All Black deep behind enemy lines in the media's inner sanctum. Who else my age can claim to have achieved such an awesome feat?

 As he and Kaino left, Brad Thorn walked in. Kaino and Jane then made a weird sound - best described as sandpaper rubbing against a Pineapple. I laughed, as I realised what they were doing. You see, Steve Price and Darren Lockyer, among others, have this amazing post-match voice which sounds like that. Thorn, unfortunately, has this voice all. the. time. His partner has just given birth to their fourth child, and he spoke about how relieved it was a girl and not his fourth boy. He said that Sebastien Chabal attracts a large amount of attention from the media and from fans, thinking this is mainly because of his beard. Asked about whether the on-field matchup against Chabal gave him an extra bit of motivation, he said that the black jersey was more than enough motivation, regardless of who he was playing. He spoke about the rules used in the test, reiterating the earlier mentioned belief that it was hard to adjust to them. Asked whether he thought the Northern Hemisphere referee last week helped the French, he said he didn't want to heap blame on the officials, but that this week's Southern Hemisphere referee may be a lot easier to play around. Slowly but surely, talk turned to the 'young' team which took the field last weekend, with a pretty good question coming up about whether new players were easier to work around in union than league, to which he commented that it was harder to do this in union, especially when the team was given one week together.

 He also backed up his teammates, and coaches, in adamantly stating 'the French deserved to win that game', before hinting that he will be retired in two years.

 By this stage, the majority of the TV guys had packed up and gone - the French journalists, who had only interviewed Conrad Smith that I saw, had long gone. Here's one impression I got about the TV guys - you know how when you sat exams at high school there'd be the one kid who finished early and proceeded to tap on the desk, cough, mumble and scrape their chair until they could leave? That's the TV guys. As they packed down after their time with Thorn [just as the radio guys had started with him] a loud 'oh yeah, shit, I'd forgotten about that!' rang out from one of Saville's crew, completely ruining the recordings of the answer Thorn had given. Once Thorn was done, the radio boys had started to pack down their microphones. It was pretty evident to me by this stage that it was all over and I had only gotten a one-on-one interview with one player.

Feeling dejected, but happy at the same time at this experience in the inner sanctum, I walked out of the room, being farewelled by Joe with a cheerful 'see you next time!' But I had gone no further than the door when I saw Josevata Rokocoko.

Joe Rockets, as I call him, has been my favourite [barring a brief switch during an injury spell] for a fair few years. After checking with Joe that it was alright to interview him, I tactfully positioned myself to grab Rokocoko when he finished the interview he was doing at that time.

 As he walked past, I plucked up the courage to say 'hey uh, Joe, uh, can I ask you some questions?' He obliged - I mean, he had to, and I introduced myself, before holding my dictaphone out and beginning. I'd never been so close to Rockets before, but I have always been amazed by his height when I see him in real life. So standing right next to him, and having to look up, even though he's only 13cm taller than me, I was awe-struck. Somehow I managed to get my first question out, something that in my head since the beginning of the S14 has sounded great to me, but was probably not the right thing to ask at an All Blacks conference; 'So you're the only backline player from the 2003 Blues that still remains, do you think the team can do it again in your career?' To which he gave me a lengthy but good answer about how he was the new guy in 2003 and how weird it is for him now that he's playing among a bunch of young guys who he feels will be great as they grow - and that at that time they'll definately be contenders. He was realistic about the team's performance last season, but when I asked him if his senority made him a leader among the team, his response was incredibly humble. He said he never feels like a leader, never thinks about it like that, but when the young guys come and ask him for advice it makes him realise how much they look up to him [as I was both physically and mentally doing atthat moment].

 Next I moved on to a well-documented peeve of mine - the negativity among the media following a loss. He acknowledged that the team has been dragged over the coals in the past week, but said that such criticism really helped the team. Probably seeing my quizzical look, he explained further that the team doesn't take the comments personally, but uses it as a way to improve their game and focus. I could see how this could be effective, but what about when is is directed at one player? I gave Isaia Toeava, a constant whipping boy for journalists, as an example. Rokocoko said that Toeava also sees the criticism as motivating and uses it to steadily improve his game. Moving on, I enquired about his long injury spell this year [but didn't mention that I cheated on him during this time. And yes, it was with ADM.] and whether during something like that a player has some rest and relaxation [as the cliche media shot of a player with his feet up, playing Xbox would have you believe] or do they go hardout at the gym? Well, it's the latter. Rokocoko spoke about the slow recovery from surgery and how he got through this by working on other areas - mainly his legs.

 Partly hoping to improve my own technique, partly commenting on something I was curious about after discussing it with friends recently, I asked about his playing style of recent years - where I remember the Rokocoko of the past making blistering runs up the field to score tries, what seems to happen now is he'll make 30 or 40 metres, before passing it infield to a forward. I asked if this was a way of protecting the ball by making sure he doesn't runb away from his support - especially with the new rules favouring quick turnover in those situations - or if it was just an over-analysis on my part.

He laughed, and said that he hadn't realised that was going on. He admitted it was a good tactic, but said that if teams were to practice it it would mean they, and he as the winger, lacked faith in the performance of the wings - and a top level rugby player cannot have such doubts either on or off the field. He then looked at me and said now that I'd identified that, he'd make sure he didn't do it next time - just for me. I thanked him and although words could not convey how grateful I was to him [and Joe] for the opportunity, I tried my hardest. Then as I looked down at my dictaphone, my chest clenched. The fucking thing had been on pause the entire time I was with Rockets!

 So my first ever experience in an All Blacks media conference had been soured at the final hurdle by a silly mistake of my own. But hopefully I'll learn from that mistake - and hopefully this will be the first of many such conferences.

Now, I have deliberately left all mention of Megan's Boyfriend the King Captain Tackles until the end. He was actually only mentioned twice; once when Tanerau Latimer was asked if he'd been given any advice by McCaw, to which he replied that Richie's advice to him had been 'Go well champ and enjoy it'. Meanwhile, Mils said that McCaw had told him the team needs to focus on improving the set piece.

 All in all, I think I did quite well for an untrained unknown, thrown into the midst of all of these media heavyweights. I sure got a few of my own hits in. And what made the day even more perfect was there was no way Chris Rattue could write about this day and anger me, because he wasn’t there.